Regal eCigarette $4.95 “Discount” Deal is a SCAM

Basically, they have a deal where you get their starter kit for “only the price of shipping.”

I whipped out my card and was ready to order it, but suddenly had a hunch that I should read the little “I agree to terms and conditions” page.

It says:

  1. you will be enrolled in Regal Refill Program
  2. at the end of your Trial Period, as a member in the Program, your credit card will be charged $119.95 (USD) for the Product you already received
  3. Then 30 days from your initial order of the Product (and every 30 days thereafter), you will be sent a new supply of the Product containing 5 cartomizers, (A total of 200 cigarettes worth) and your credit card will be charged $49.95 + $4.95 S/H (the Monthly Fee)

It does say that you can try the product for 14 days and if you don’t like it, get out of the whole deal, but you have to return the product including all but one cartridge unused.

Bottom line, you pay shipping both ways in order to get one free eCigarette.  Or, you pay full price, around $125 for the starter kit and 5 cartridges.

Fuckers. No one ever reads those terms of service things.

 

 

For the record, here’s there terms and conditions that you agree to:

Terms & ConditionsThese Terms and Conditions (Terms) are entered into by the customer that accepts these Terms electronically (you or your means you and your agents, as applicable) and D&M Enterprises, DBA Regal Cigs (The Company). These Terms govern your purchase of Regal Cigs’ electronic cigarette product (theProduct). These Terms may be updated from time to time, without notice to you. Your continued purchase of the Product constitutes your acceptance to the new Terms.

1. IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER
If you are under the age of 18 (or under the age of 19 and you live in Alabama, Alaska, New Jersey, Utah and New York) please leave this Site immediately. By entering this Site, you represent that you are at least 18 years of age, or 19 in those jurisdictions mentioned above.
PLEASE NOTE that IF YOU ARE A RESIDENT OF OREGON, YOU MAY NOT PURCHASE THE PRODUCT. The Product is not intended as a “stop smoking” or “quit smoking” device; instead the Product provides an alternative to smoking by supplying nicotine through a personal atomizing device. Nicotine, even in low doses, can have a number of potentially harmful side effects.

The Product should not be used by anyone under the age of 18 or anyone who is pregnant, nursing, or breastfeeding. Information and statements regarding product have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

2. Privacy Policy 
Regal Cigs respects your privacy and permits you to control the treatment of your personal information. A complete statement of Regal Cigs current privacy policy can be found by clicking here The Privacy Policy is expressly incorporated into these Terms by this reference.

3. PURCHASING THE PRODUCT 
Upon placing your first order for the Product you will be enrolled in Regal Refill Program. As a member in the Program, Regal Cigs will immediately send you a Starter Kit which includes one extended battery, one wall charger, one USB charger, one cigarette case, 5 nicotine cartomizers, and an instruction manual and all you pay for is shipping and handling at a rate of $9.95 (USD). In other words, upon enrollment in the Program, you authorize Regal Cigs to charge your credit card $9.95 (USD). As a member in the Program, you have 14 days to try the Product (the Trial Period). Please note that delivery time is subtracted from your Trial Period, and will reduce the number of days allocated to your Trial Period. If the Product is not right for you call 1-888-822-5977 during the Trial Period. Otherwise, at the end of your Trial Period, as a member in the Program, your credit card will be charged $119.95 (USD) for the Product you already received. Then 30 days from your initial order of the Product (and every 30 days thereafter), you will be sent a new supply of the Product containing 5 cartomizers, (A total of 200 cigarettes worth) and your credit card will be charged $49.95 + $4.95 S/H (the Monthly Fee).

You hereby authorize Regal Cigs (or its partners, affiliates and/or agents) to charge your credit card the Monthly Fee and You acknowledge and agree that Regal Cigs  will not obtain additional authorization from you for each Monthly Fee charged to your Credit Card.

4. CANCELLATION AND REFUND AND EXCHANGE POLICY
If you wish to cancel future deliveries of the Product or receive an RMA number, you must call 1-888-822-5977. If you cancel prior to the expiration of the Trial Period and would not like to be billed for the full amount of the Starter Kit you must return the starter kit with a return merchandise authorization (a RMA) within 30 days from the date you placed your order. If you cancel within the 14 day trial and do not want to be charged for the starter kit we must receive your starter kit with a RMA number 30 days from the date you placed your order otherwise you will be billed $119.95. If you fail to cancel prior to the expiration of the Trial Period or you fail to return the starter kit with an RMA number within the 30 days from when you placed your order, your credit card will be charged $119.95 for the Product that was shipped to you.

You are able to use one (1) of the initial fve (5) cartomizers that you receive with your starter kit  at no charge in order to decide if you like the product. Each additional cartomizer that is used and not returned in its original un-opened package will result in a charge of $5 per cartomizer.

If you cancel after the expiration of the Trial Period, you may receive a refund, but only if the starter kit is received by us with an RMA number within 30 days from the date you placed your order. Refunds will not be given on packages marked “Return To Sender”.  All Product returns must be sent to Regal Cigs at 405 W. Fairmont Drive, Tempe, AZ 85282. For purposes of calculating the 30 days for this refund/return policy, each Product that is shipped to you after the expiration of the Trial Period is deemed to have been ordered when such Product is billed to your credit card.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS A 20%  RESTOCKING FEE ON ALL RETURNED PRODUCTS. FURTHERMORE, THERE ARE NO REFUNDS ON THE CARTRIDGES ONCE SHIPPED (excluding the two cartridges allowed for trying the product).

5. GENERAL PAYMENT INFORMATION
All fees are payable in United States currency. Upon prior written notice to you (i.e., email), Regal Cigs reserves the right to change its pricing and/or billing practices whenever necessary, in its sole discretion. If you do not agree with these changes, you may cancel your membership in the Program, as applicable, at any time, but you will remain responsible for timely payment of any and all fees that you have already incurred (including any applicable late fees). Continued acceptance of the Product, after receipt of such notice shall constitute consent to any and all such changes. If you fail to make any scheduled payment for a Product, such overdue amounts will be subject to interest charges in the amount of one and one half percent (1.5%) per month, compounded monthly and Regal Cigs may, in its sole discretion, decide to terminate your membership in the Program for non-payment.

6. License Grant 
Regal Cigs grants you a limited license to access and make personal use of the website and not to download (other than page caching) or modify it, or any portion of it. This license does not include any resale or commercial use of the website or its contents; any collection and use of any product listings, descriptions, or prices; any derivative use of the website or its contents; or any use of data mining, robots, or similar data gathering and extraction tools. This website or any portion of this website may not be reproduced, duplicated, copied, sold, resold, visited, or otherwise exploited for any commercial purpose without express written consent of Regal Cigs.

7. INDEMNIFICATION
Upon request by Regal Cigs, you agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Regal Cigs and its affiliates, their employees, contractors, agents, representatives, officers, directors, co-branders, content licensors and/or other partners from all liabilities, claims, and expenses, including without limitation attorneys fees that arise from: (a) your use of the website or the Products; and/or (b) your breach of these Terms and the terms of the Program. Regal Cigs reserves the right, at your expense, to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter otherwise subject to indemnification by you, in which event you will cooperate with Regal Cigs in asserting any available defenses.

8. COPYRIGHT
All content included on this website, including but not limited to text, graphics, logos, button icons, images, and audio clips, digital downloads, and data compilations, is the property of Regal Cigs and is protected by United States and international copyright laws.

9. Third Party Sites
Regal Cigs may allow third parties to advertise on the website. Please be aware that Regal Cigs is not responsible for the business and privacy practices of these other sites. Regal Cigs encourages you to be aware of this when you leave the website and to read the legal notices and privacy policies of each and every website you visit. The website also contains links to other websites on the Internet that are owned and operated by third parties. Regal Cigs does not control the information, products or services available on these third party websites. The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by Regal Cigs of the applicable website or any association with the website’s operators. Because Regal Cigs  has no control over such websites and resources, you agree that Regal Cigs is not responsible or liable for the availability or the operation of such external websites, for any material located on or available from any such websites or for the protection of your data privacy by third parties. You agree that Regal Cigs shall not be responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage caused by the use of or reliance on any such material available on or through any such site or any such dealings or promotions.

10. Disclaimer of Warranties 
THE WEBSITE AND THE PRODUCT OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE, ARE PROVIDED TO YOU ON AN “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE” BASIS AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS AND IMPLIED, ARE DISCLAIMED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE PURSUANT TO APPLICABLE LAW (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE DISCLAIMER OF ANY WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, NON-INFRINGEMENT OF INTELECTUAL PROPERTY AND/OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE). Regal Cigs MAKES NO WARRANTY THAT THE WEBSITE OR THE PRODUCT OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE: (A) WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS; (B) WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE OR ERROR-FREE OR THAT DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED; (C) WILL BE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS; (D) WILL HAVE SECURITY METHODS EMPLOYED THAT WILL BE SUFFICIENT AGAINST INTERFERENCE WITH YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THE WEBSITE, OR AGAINST INFRINGEMENT; AND/OR (E) WILL BE ACCURATE OR RELIABLE. THE WEBSITE AND THE PRODUCT OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE MAY CONTAIN BUGS, ERRORS, PROBLEMS OR OTHER LIMITATIONS.

11. Limitation of Liability
YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT Regal Cigs  SHALL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANY THIRD PARTY FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL AND/OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, GOODWILL, USE, DATA OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSSES (EVEN IF Regal Cigs  HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES), TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE BY LAW FOR: (A) THE USE OR THE INABILITY TO USE THE WEBSITE AND THE PRODUCT ON THE WEBSITE; (B) THE COST OF PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS AND SERVICES RESULTING FROM ANY GOODS, DATA, INFORMATION, CONTENT AND/OR ANY PRODUCT PURCHASED OR OBTAINED FROM OR THROUGH THE WEBSITE; (C) THE UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO, OR ALTERATION OF, YOUR PERSONALLY IDENTIFIABLE DATA; (D) THE FAILURE TO REALIZE ANY SPECIFIC SMOKING CESSATION BENEFIT OR OTHER HEALTH-RELATED OUTCOME; AND (E) ANY OTHER MATTER RELATING TO THIS WEBSITE OR THE PRODUCT OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE. THIS LIMITATION APPLIES TO ALL CAUSES OF ACTION, IN THE AGGREGATE INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, BREACH OF CONTRACT, BREACH OF WARRANTY, NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, MISREPRESENTATION AND ANY AND ALL OTHER TORTS. YOU HEREBY RELEASE Regal Cigs FROM ANY AND ALL OBLIGATIONS, LIABILITIES AND CLAIMS IN EXCESS OF THE LIMITATIONS STATED HEREIN. IF APPLICABLE LAW DOES NOT PERMIT SUCH LIMITATION, THE MAXIMUM LIABILITY OF Regal Cigs TO YOU UNDER ANY AND ALL CIRCUMSTANCES WILL BE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS ($500.00). NO ACTION, REGARDLESS OF FORM, ARISING OUT OF YOUR USE THIS WEBSITE, THE PRODUCT AND/OR SERVICES OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE, MAY BE BROUGHT BY YOU MORE THAN ONE (1) YEAR FOLLOWING THE EVENT WHICH GAVE RISE TO THE CAUSE OF ACTION. THE NEGATION OF DAMAGES SET FORTH ABOVE IS A FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENT OF THE BASIS OF THE BARGAIN BETWEEN YOU AND Regal Cigs. ACCESS TO THE WEBSITE AND THE PRODUCT OFFERED ON THE WEBSITE WOULD NOT BE PROVIDED TO YOU WITHOUT SUCH LIMITATIONS. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW CERTAIN LIMITATIONS ON LIABILITY AND IN SUCH JURISDICTIONS Regal Cigs  LIABILITY SHALL BE LIMITED TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW.

12. Choice of Law and Arbitration Provision
Any dispute arising out of or related to these Terms, which cannot be resolved by negotiation (including, without limitation, any dispute over the ability to arbitrate an issue), will be settled by binding arbitration in accordance with the J.A.M.S Arbitration Rules and Procedures. The arbitration will be held in Denver, CO. The costs of arbitration, including the fees and expenses of the arbitrator, will be borne by the party initiating the action unless the arbitration award provides otherwise. Each party will bear the cost of preparing and presenting its case. The parties agree that the arbitrator has no power or authority to make awards or issue orders of any kind except as expressly permitted by these Terms, and in no event does the arbitrator have the authority to make any award that provides for punitive or exemplary damages. The award may be confirmed and enforced in any court of competent jurisdiction. These Terms shall be treated as though it were executed and performed in Denver, CO and shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Colorado (without regard to conflict of law principles).

13. Miscellaneous 
You represent and warrant that (a) you are at least 18 years of age (or 19 years of age in the jurisdiction mentioned above); (b) you have the full right, power and authority to enter into this agreement; (c) by entering into this agreement you are not breaching any duty or obligation to any third party; and (d) the person consenting to these Terms is your duly authorized representative and authorized to bind you to the terms of these Terms. You may not assign or delegate any or all of your rights, obligations, and duties under these Terms without the prior written consent of Regal Cigs, which may be withheld in Regal Cigs sole discretion. If any clause or provision in these Terms is determined to be invalid or unenforceable, it will not affect the validity of any other clause or provision these Terms, which will remain in full force and effect. No waiver of any of the provisions of these Terms is binding unless it is in writing and signed by Regal Cigs. The failure of either Regal Cigs to insist on the strict enforcement of any provision of these Terms does not constitute a waiver of any provision and all terms shall remain in full force and effect. These Terms supersede and replace all prior and contemporaneous agreements, understandings and representations, whether oral or written, between the parties and relating to the subject matter hereof, and together with the other documents referenced herein, constitutes the entire understanding of the parties with respect to the subject matter of these Terms.

14. Regal One Year Warranty
We stand behind the quality of our product and guarantee to the original purchaser that our product shall be free from defects in material or workmanship for a period of one year from the original purchase date. This warranty applies to the product under normal use and is subject to all product usage documentation. In the event you need to exchange your Regal pack, battery, or charger, simply call customer service at 1-888-822-5977 to obtain a Return Merchandise Authorization (RMA). Place the RMA number and the item(s) to be exchanged in a padded envelope, and mail it to us at Regal Cigs Returns, 405 W. Fairmont Drive, Tempe, AZ 85282

Please allow 1-2 weeks for processing.

NOTE: All exchange requests MUST be accompanied by an RMA number, be received within one year from the date of the original order, and include all items to be exchanged . We reserve the right to refuse any exchange request that does not meet these requirements. We recommend that you return your product via traceable mail as we do not take any responsibility for undelivered exchanges.

15. CONTACT INFORMATION
If you have any questions about these Terms, please feel free to contact us at 1-888-822-5977 or email us at info@regalcigs.com.

Hours of Operation: Mon.-Fri. 9:00am-5:00pm EST.

Regal Cigs
405 West Fairmont Drive
Tempe, AZ 85282

Please DO NOT send returns to the above address, unless you received an RMA number.

 

Copyright 2011 Regal ecigs
spacer
Regal Cigs are intended for use by adult smokers and not intended for pregnant women or those who are sensitive to nicotine. Nicotine is highly addictive and may be dangerous to your health. Regal Cigs are not intended as a smoking cessation device. Regal Cigs offers smokers a tar freeway to enjoy smoking. KEEP PRODUCT AND ITS COMPONENT PARTS OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. REFRAIN FROM USING THIS PRODUCT IF YOU ARE UNDER THE LEGAL SMOKING AGE IN YOUR STATE. We are not affiliated in any way with Fox, CBS, Men’s Health or Discovery. The aforementioned re all registered trademarks of their respective owners. ® All trademarks on this web site whether registered or not, are the property of theirs a respective owners. The authors of this web site are not sponsored by or affiliated with any of the third party trade mark or third party registered trade mark owners, and make no representations about them, their owners, their products or services.

Craigslist Ad Voicemail Spam Robots-OnceDriven.com

The Evil Robots are Calling! A new form of spam.
Robots are scanning Craigslist for phone numbers and leaving voicemails that are based merely on the generic category of the craigslist ad.  In this case, it’s the automotive sales section, although I’m not selling a car.  But notice the voicemail is as if I am.  No one read my ad.  As with blog comment spam, if there’s n mention of anything specific to your actual ad, it’s probably a robot.

Here’s the message: voicemail.mp3

Actual Message Transcript:

Hi, My name is Michael and I work for Once Driven. The number here is (855) 844-2646. Uhh, we’ve got some clients who are shopping for vehicles, and I’m going through a list of vehicles like yours. I’d like to find out more about it and, um,  tell you little bit more about what we can do to help you get it sold. Uh, there’s a small fee for the service. It’s well worth it. I’ll tell you about it when you call. We do guarantee the results. So give me a call before 5 today. Uh, the number is (855) 844-2646. Have a great day.

In my opinion, we should penalize companies for using this technique for marketing purposes for two reasons

  1. It’s against the craigslist’s code of conduct

  2. It’s simply annoying.

So to oncedriven.com, you guys suck for spamming me when you have nothing to offer me and my ad says it’s NOT OK to contact me with other services.  I hope this post effects your SEO and public images in the way you have earned!

Google Voice’s Transcipt (for fun):

Hi, My name is Michael and I work for one street in the number here is (855) 844-2646 we’ve got some clients were shopping for a vehicles. And I’m going through a list of vehicles like yours. I’d like to find out more about it and tell you little bit more about what we can do to help you get it sold. There’s a small piece of the service It’s well worth it. I’ll tell you about it when you call and wedo guarantee the results. So give me a call before 5 today. The number is (855) 844-2646. Have a great day.

UPDATE: I wrote OnceDriven via their website to tell them that I was getting around 100 hits per day to this post  (now it’s more like 200).  This is what they wrote back, followed by my response.

On Jul 9, 2013, at 2:46 PM, Once Driven Management wrote:

Andrew,

Thank you for bringing your thread to our attention. If we may, we’d like to take this opportunity to clarify several of the concerns raised in your thread.

With respect to the calls themselves, OnceDriven receives hundreds of requests from buyers every week. Our representatives attempt to locate vehicles similar to those buyers ask us to find. We were concerned that some people saw this as a form of harassment. As opposed to random marketers trolling online classifieds, we zero in on a unique opportunity to bring buyers and sellers together. While there is some margin for human error, it was disconcerting to see that some people were contacted who were not actually in the vehicle selling market – these must have been administrative errors and we are working diligently with our representatives to bring that number down to zero.

We want to point out that OnceDriven accepts consumers’ requests not to be contacted again. As some of the people in your thread expressed difficulty in contacting us, we’d like to clarify the process. Contrary to one poster’s comments, you do not need a representative’s extension. While you can always contact our toll free number, we have decided to take this one step further as some people have experienced delays being placed on hold. We’re providing a link at the end of this response for people who do not wish to be contacted to enter their number and/or email and notify us of any concerns they may have. If you would be so kind as to bring this to people’s attention by placing it prominently on your thread, we would be very grateful.

Here is the link:

http://www.oncedriven.com/quality-assurance/

We noticed some comments from people regarding the excessive volume of calls. We are aware of numerous legitimate and illegitimate third parties reaching out to online posters as they contact our very own customers. It is likely some of those calls are being mistakenly attributed to us.

Thank you for giving us an opportunity to respond to your thread.

Stephen Cooper
Management Team
OnceDriven.com

So this is what I wrote back:

Stephen,

Why would your company have contacted me about my “vehicle” when I wasn’t selling one? I was selling a pair of motorcycle saddlebags. And every time I reposted the ad, I would receive at least one call from OnceDriven. It always referred to my “vehicle.”

Shouldn’t it be pretty clear to me that you guys are merely indiscriminately screen-scraping phone numbers from the auto sales part of craigslist and robo-dialing them?

Is that NOT what you’re doing?

-Andrew

I’ll update this post if they respond to my questions.

Three Beeps at Startup-G4 Powerbook Caused by Stuck Keys!

Recently helped a friend with redoing the connections to the DC in on her old-ass Mac, a 12-inch G4 Powerbook.

After reassembly, the damn thing beeped three times as if there was bad RAM or “No Good RAM Sockets”

This was not the case.  Actually, there was simply a key stuck.  I mashed all the keys a few times and the thing came back to life!  I have no idea what key or keys caused this.  But before you have yourself convinced you fried your RAM or Logic Board, do yourself a favor and give your keyboard a massage!

ATA Auto Repair in Santa Rosa – BEST Mechanic in Sonoma County

Good mechanics are hard to find, not necessarily as far as the quality of the work goes, but in the honesty sense.  Most shops I’ve been to will find some bullshit excuse to strong-arm you into authorizing more work than you need.

Gary at ATA Auto Repair in Santa Rosa has got to be the most sincere mechanic ever.  I took my car in for a DMV Brake and Lamp Inspection/certificate because there’s only a few places in town that do it, and because when I called, Gary quoted me a lower price than the other two shops in the area that do it and he also said that if I fail the test because some little thing needs to be tweaked, he would charge me only a small partial fee to sign off on that bit of the inspection once the issue is resolved.  The other places were really clear that I’d have to pay full price again if I didn’t pass for some reason (like say, I need to slightly tighten my parking brake cable, a five-minute fix).

Anyway, despite thinking I was totally prepared for the inspection, it turned out that one of my headlight lenses was a little too foggy to sign off on and my license plate lights were either out, or had crawled up inside their little holes.  Gary actually called me to tell me that he’d have to buff my headlight lense to get it clear enough, which would cost me $20.  I’m pretty sure most shops would have told me I needed to replace the entire plastic lens piece, a much more expensive way to go.  And I don’t think he even charged me for the license plate light bulb replacement.

He got everything up to snuff, with no surprises and when I was $12 short on the cash to pay him (it’s been a tight week financially lol), he actually told me I could go ahead and take the car if I promise to bring him the $12 another day!  Jeez.  I didn’t think there were people out there anymore that did that sort of thing, especially auto shops and especially since I never met him before.

The shop looks a little bit junky, which worried me at first.  But in the end, I’ve decided that this is my guy.  I’m going to recommend him to everyone I know.  That’s why I decided to post this.  I don’t think they’ve even got a website.

(Hey Gary, if you read this, I’ll build an awesome website for you for practically nothing… That’s what I do for money)

ATA Auto Repair
1540 Petaluma Hill Rd, Santa Rosa, CA 95404
Phone:(707) 575-7316

Why AppliChord almost doesn’t suck, but still does suck.

air-guitar-toy
toy. You can select any note, and the chord form you want at the same time.

update 2013-10-13: Applichord doesn’t suck anymore.  They’ve implemented the missing functionality I wrote about here.  Applichord is AWESOME!

I just spent about two hours downloading and trying various apps that play chords.

I write music.  And I recently came across a cheap toy at a thrift shop that plays chords (Major, Minor, Seventh and Minor-Seventh, a fairly limited election, but impressive for a children’s toy), and is chromatic (it has the letter names, but also has sharp/flat buttons).

This is an amazing tool for writing chord progressions!

If your a musician of modest capabilities, like myself, you’ll find that you tend to gravitate toward certain habits: certain types of chords, certain finger positions, the preferred/easy keys for the instrument you’re working with Etc.

photo
AppliChord. First you have to select the note. Second you select the chord type. Two clicks!!! :(

With this toy I have, which sounds like total shit, but is in tune, you can randomly explore chord combinations by pressing a note letter name with one finger, and a chord type with another finger. I wrote several beautiful chord progressions with this cheap piece of junk within the first two days of having it.  The ability to explore, guess and find novel chord combinations, despite the preferences and weaknesses of your abilities and instrument, is invaluable!

Anyway, this thing sounds like garbage.  So off to the iOS App Store I went.  After trying dozens of apps, the closest I came to finding a tool that allows musical exploration like my toy does is an app called AppliChord. It gives you a list of notes on the left (chromatic), and a list of chord types on the right.  But here’s the thing:

It doesn’t let you select both at the same time! You can’t jump from Cmin7 to B7 in one two-thumb gesture.  I want to cry.  I want a tool that does this so bad!

 

AppliChord person/people:  PLEASE help me!!