Posted June 24th, 2008, in: Uncategorized

The two pieces of music I have been working on for the past month or so are both at a sort of stand-still.  They are great pieces, and they have lots of potential and they may both be some of the best things I’ve ever made, but for some reason I am having a bitch of a time getting any further with them.  This is a two-part problem at least.

Ear Fatigue?

There is no official definition of ear fatigue that I can find.  As of writing this, there’s no entry for it on the Wikipedia, which is surprising.  For this reason, I can’t be sure if what I’m experiencing is ear fatigue, or just being really sick of what I’m working on…  I’ve described what I often go thru when working on a piece for too long, non-stop, as being similar to sun spots.  You know how when you look at the sun or a bright light, it makes an impression on your vision that takes a while to go away?  Well after working on a piece of music for a while I start to get something like that, but it’s in the part of my mind that’s listening.  I can’t be objective anymore and I start to get really confused by what I’m hearing.  It hurts in a strange way.  So far, this seems to mainly only effect the same piece of music, that’s to say, when I jump over to working on something else, I can work just fine.  Actually working on something else seems to almost cure the ‘sun spots’ from the original piece.

I often work on a piece of music for days or weeks at a time.  The pain seems to carry over from one day to the next.  For this reason, I doubt sometimes that this is a physiological thing.  It might just be discreetly psychological… Maybe I’m just sick of hearing it?  The problem with that theory is that, for one, I actually am generally really excited by the stuff I’m working on, and two, listening to store-bought music has never had this affect on me.  When Kid A from Radiohead came out, I probably listened to that thing on loop for a month or so.  And generally, music that I dislike, I tend to become for accepting of over time, if I listen to it over and over and over.  So I do think it has to do with the process of being engaged with the piece as the creator, more than just listening in general. 

Creative Constipation? Fear?

Another part of my problem with how I try to work is that a piece I’m working on gets to a point when I really love it and don’t want to damage it.  So I end up spending most of my energy an hit-or-miss small changes that I usually throw out… What ends up happening more often than not is that I have to close up the project and wait six months or so, basically til I’ve forgotten all about it, then open it up with a fresh ear for it’s greatness and flaws, for what I imagine could be done with it, and above all, with little fear of ‘ruining’ it. 

I hate this about myself, but this may just be the way I am.

Just a few thought.  Comments welcome, as always.